Diary of a Lipstick Terrorist

You're doing a PhD? Let me tell you how stupid that is!

Laura Brightwell — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 12:54:54 +0000

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In the past week, as I have wrapped up my nine-to-five job in Communications, I have had a lot of discussions about my next adventure. Namely, my embarkation on a PhD in Gender, Feminist and Women's Studies at York University here in Toronto.

Now, as a feminist and queer woman who blogs about the troubles with the world and has generally engaged in queer activism, I am used to people saying stupid shit to me. However, I have been floored by the level of disrespect and pure ignorance I have met with this past week as I discuss this transition with former colleagues, neighbours and general acquaintances.

Is men and masculinity studies really radical?

Laura Brightwell — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 22:56:38 +0000

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Cycling in Toronto: Why it sucks

Laura Brightwell — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 00:55:45 +0000

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In advance of the Toronto premiere of Bikes vs. Cars this Friday, I thought I would share this article I wrote about cycling in the city.

When two become one... NOT

Laura Brightwell — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 01:22:54 +0000

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If you're wondering about the title of this blog post, yes I am apparently 12. And no, I don't care. *slams bedroom door*

Oh my God, Britain! What have you done?

Laura Brightwell — Mon, 11 May 2015 00:01:24 +0000

"Oh my God, Britain! What have you done?" was one of the first posts I read on my Facebook feed as I woke up on Friday morning in Toronto. I was checking in to see the results of Thursday's general election in the United Kingdom. As I read a bunch of lefty friends' horrified posts, predicting another five years of cuts to public services and a few half-serious vows to leave the country, I actually shed a few tears. I was eating my breakfast when David Cameron's first address to the public as reinstated Prime Minister came on.

The shitty things we do to each other in activist communities

Laura Brightwell — Thu, 19 Mar 2015 13:35:45 +0000

When I moved to Toronto two years ago, I immediately fell into a friendship group of femmes and other queers, largely thanks to the welcoming persona of one of the group. I was invited to parties and had femme friends I felt comfortable around for this first time in my life. I had a pretty good social life, pretty fast.

And then, about three months later, it all fell apart. I started dating someone who would later become my partner. This person had gone on a date with one of my new friends two days prior to meeting me. Later my friend asked me to stop seeing them, and I refused.

On being 32, queer and not pregnant

Laura Brightwell — Mon, 16 Feb 2015 20:33:04 +0000

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Why are you stuck in that shitty relationship?

Laura Brightwell — Wed, 16 Jul 2014 22:03:37 +0000

OK, so maybe the title's a cheap gimmick. But I got you to look, didn't I? This one's about the pressure to be in a relationship and how it affects our self-esteem and happiness.

As a teenager and woman in her early 20s I felt like I had a lot to prove. Specifically, a lot to prove sexually. Upon meeting new people, I felt like a failure because I wasn’t in a relationship. My short and, most often, disastrous mini dating spurts made me question if there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I get a girl? (I was more gay back then. And no, homophobes, if you have mysteriously managed to stumble upon this post, it wasn't "a phase.")

Counting calories at work

Laura Brightwell — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 00:09:14 +0000

Hi rabble.ca readers! Long time no post, I know. Something about working 9-5 and doing Canadian immigration kills creativity. I wonder why? But anyway, some good news! The lovely folks here have decided to include my piece "I don't want to have sex" in the Best of rabble.ca, 2014 Edition: The Year of Living Consciously eBook. Yay me! I'm just so thrilled y'all enjoyed reading it so much.

But, enough of this happy shit. On with the bitching:

You know what I fucking hate? Moral judgements around food.

Burlesque: Sexy or Sexist?

Laura Brightwell — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 01:48:33 +0000

My response to criticisms of queer burlesque: fat, self-love and why it’s feminist to take my clothes off on stage. I am getting pretty good at exercising my intellectual muscles to argue with feminists who say doing this is inherently sexist, but I’d appreciate your input too. Any other ideas about why queer burlesque is queer, feminist and hot?!

This post also addresses misogynist and homophobic hate and may be triggering.

Coming out when you're single

Laura Brightwell — Thu, 30 Jan 2014 11:46:02 +0000

There’s no doubt -- being closeted is bad for your health. It places you in the position of feeling like you are doing something wrong. You feel guilty because you’re hiding the truth about yourself. In this, my last post on coming out, I want to explore ways we can come out in order to ease this burden.

But you have such a pretty face!

Laura Brightwell — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 01:34:59 +0000

While waiting for my third installment of coming out at work to, er, come out, I wanted to give you rabble readers a chance to digest this golden oldie. It's got some pretty good food for thought about being fat, eating out and fat shaming. I'd love to know what you think.

Ok, guys, it’s time for me to come out. I know, you’re going to be shocked. I tried to deny it, but I just can’t. Now, don’t tell any other fat activists, but I REALLY LIKE SALADS (hides fattie face behind cushions). DON’T JUDGE ME! In this post I bitch about shaming fat women when we eat in public and throw in a picture of me stuffing my face for, like, reference. Enjoy!

Coming out at work -- can it affect your career?

Laura Brightwell — Wed, 08 Jan 2014 00:15:42 +0000

While writing my first post on coming out at work last month I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to argue how the type of place you work affects whether or not you feel you can come out with impunity. I wanted to argue how problematic the trope of coming out by referring to your significant other is. So I’ve decided to make this topic a three-parter. Last month I examined coming out when you don’t fall into a neat L, G or B category. This week I go on to ask how the type of place you work at affects your ability to come out. In the final post, I’ll question how we come out at work when we’re single?

Coming out at work -- is it necessary?

Laura Brightwell — Fri, 13 Dec 2013 12:12:40 +0000

Who we are seen to be at work affects our relationship with our colleagues, managers and our job security. In my case, as a queer femme in a relationship with a transsexual man, I am often misread as straight, which forces me back into the closet. My perceived sexuality puts me in an uncomfortable position in relation to my co-workers and managers.

Queers are slutty, lesbians are boring

Laura Brightwell — Mon, 21 Oct 2013 22:54:02 +0000

Last week say the opening of Canadian artist Allyson Mitchell’s Killjoy’s Kastle: A Lesbian Feminist Haunted House in Toronto. This controversial project aims to exhume the ghosts of feminism past (a.k.a. the “undead lesbian community”) and confront some of society’s greatest fears about teh gays.

This tongue-in-cheek retrospective and critique of womyn-only lesbian feminism perfectly summarizes the attitude of the queer zeitgeist towards our feminist past. We appreciate what our forerunners have fought for, but find some of the racist, transphobic and sex-negative aspects of their feminism problematic.

Orthorexia, the new eating disorder?

Laura Brightwell — Thu, 10 Oct 2013 10:44:58 +0000

Orthorexia nervosa may be a familiar term to some of you. For others, it might sound like I borrowed it from a medical dictionary. But, the reality is, we are all familiar with the eating behaviours this term describes. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, orthorexia is an “unhealthy obsession” with otherwise healthy eating. From the mass-marketing of organic produce to the popularity of “fresh” restaurants, orthorexia and its related eating behaviours are an accepted part of our daily food culture.

I don't want to have sex

Laura Brightwell — Fri, 13 Sep 2013 01:10:12 +0000

I originally wrote and published this post in 2011, when I lived in Berlin. It quickly went viral among the queer community and caused a lot of outrage and sparked some very fruitful discussions at festivals and the like. Now, two years later, I still stand by my decision to be single. Although I am now in a relationship, deciding to be single for two years was one of the most caring things I have done for myself in my life. It’s my hope that people reading this article will feel empowered to make the sexual choices that are right for them.

Burlesque just a fancy word for stripping?

Laura Brightwell — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 00:44:35 +0000

When Dita von Teese was asked if burlesque is just a fancy word for stripper, she replied, candidly, yes.

Often touted as the mother of a movement that has been lauded by fourth wave feminism as ‘liberating’ and ‘empowering’ for women, for von Teese to equate burlesque with stripping flies in the face of many of her female fans' pro-burlesque arguments.