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Memorial fund
January 27, 2015 - 1:33am
As some of you may know (probably not), my mother passed away at the age of 56 from lung cancer, never smoked, about a year ago. I am still completely devastated and I want to create a permanent memorial fund in her name and the donation will strictly go to Lung Cancer Canada.
I have read some informations on this, does anyone know if i should set it up with a bank or a credit union, just wondering.
Any tips are appreciated.
okay I will bump this one more time, in case anyone wants to help me or should I just walk into a bank and ask?
I hadn't seen this before, take it slowly. I'm very sorry. I think we do have some lawyers here who might know.
http://www.lungcancercanada.ca/ Is Lung Cancer Canada separate from the Canadian Cancer Society? (the latter is subject to much criticism, as you know).
I wonder if André Picard, health writer for the Globe and Mail, might have some ideas? He has written in the past about how lung cancer doesn't get enough in charitable donations because of victim blaming. Other than smoking and exposure to tobacco smoke, work in polluting industries is a common factor, as is air pollution in general which harms our lungs in many ways.
Admitting that at first I thought this was a memorial fund for our late babble and rabble members, including Croghan, pencilskirt, Boom Boom, pogge and skdadl... Though of course we can remember them as well.
Edited to add: Here is the André Picard article, which was linked to on the Lung Cancer Canada site: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/lung-cancer-is-a-...
Thanks alot, lagatta.
I went to the Canadian cancer society website, and they always associated smoking with lung cancer, so I will not support them.
I did email Andre Picard, hopefully, he will get back at me.
Lung Cancer Canada (have you read their site?) looks very critical of the Canadian Cancer Society. I hope Mr Picard answers your question. My dad died of lung cancer not much older than your mum, but he was a heavy smoker. Back when he started, especially as he grew up in an industrial town and also worked in polluting industry as a young man (a long time ago; my parents were elderly, and my dad died in 1970) smoking was utterly the norm among men and teenage boys. Tobacco manufacturers pushed cigarettes as "gifts" to the troops during both World Wars. He had two heart attacks and phlebitis as well.
I have known non-smokers who developed the disease, once again, particularly in industrial and extractive areas.
But in any event, it is classist victim blaming. Good luck with your fund.
Hey takeitslowly, please check your PMs when you have a second.
I'm so very sorry to know your mom died Takeitslowly. I am sure you miss her. Thoughts for you and yours.
Hey TS, please check your PMs again.
TS, so sorry for your loss.
Two quick points on the logistics of setting up a memorial fund.
Firstly, you will probably do best to ask the charity you prefer to support to set up the fund itself. And then direct donors there. That way any donors can receive a tax-deductible receipt (which should not be minimized as an incentive for sustained fundraising). Opening up some sort of a trust account at a financial institution is generally done for specific individuals or families (dealing with medical crises or fire, etc) when there is a lot of trust involved and no expectation of a tax receipt.
Secondly, there is no shortage of permanent, named memorial funds being set up .... but to be honest, most run out of steam in pretty short order unless there is a committed team behind it that is really motivated to drive on-going fund-raising. (This is true even when the deceased individual is both well known and wealthy.)
Trust me on this - I oversee two such funds at the moment - one set up in memory of a well known labour activist and another for a nationally known political figure. And I have been involved with a whole array of named funds for various community, charity and university causes over the years. My experience is that the best of intentions to do something 'in memoriam' rarely translates into a viable fund 'in perpetuity'.
My advice, - use the immediate moment to raise as much money as you can, and make sure it reaches the cause you want to support. Just do it NOW.
Good luck!
thanks Sherpa - finn. My boyfriend keeps saying its not a good idea to ask friends and families to give money. I dont have much friends and family anyaways. I wish hes more supportive of the idea. I am thinking of running a 10 k marathon in toronto in april to get people to donate, is that a good idea? or to give out prizes for people who donate ..i dont knwo what kind of prizes though.
When you have it set up, do tell us.
Sorry to hear of your loss, tis.
Thank you everyone. I am so thankful for all the caring supports. Feburary 18 is the day my mother passed away one year ago. In return, I have set up a memorial fund on Canadahelps page to honor her and to raise money for Lung Cancer Canada.
https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/the-kit-ling-tang-memorial-fund-to-...
A year ago today, my loving and selfless 56 years old mother passed away from lung cancer; I often get looks of surprises when I tell people she never smoked a single cigarette in her whole life. Indeed, lung cancer in non-smokers is the eighth largest cancer killer in Canada. For reasons that are not yet clear, the vast majority of never-smokers diagnosed with lung cancer are women.
Fact: Lung Cancer is often stigmatized and severely undefended; lung cancer researchers receive only one-tenth the funding that breast and prostate cancer researchers do, and yet it kills more than both combined.
I have set up a memorial fund to honor my mother and to help raise money for Lung Cancer Canada, the only national charitable organization that focus on serving those with lung cancers. (Please read the page for more details on the important work that they do)
In return, I am registered to run in the Toronto Yonge street 10k event on April 19 and my goal is to finish the 10k run in one hour. Any amount of donation is appreciated, just like my mother said to me, "its the thoughts that count."
My mother was a champion of love. Even though she was in great pain near the end of her life, she was still thinking of me. “Casey, I am sorry you have to drive me to the hospitals all the time, when everyone else gets to celebrate Chinese new years,” I will never forget that.
Cancer ultimately took her life, but she didn't lose to cancer. My mother passed away as the world was hosting the Sochi Olympic, and she definitely symbolized the Olympic spirit. She fought against every adversity in life till the end. She was reading her favorite Chinese magazine like a champion just days before she left us.
The goal of this memorial fund is to raise a 1000 dollar.
With a 1000 dollar, Lung Cancer Canada will dedicate a tree to my mother's memory (through a plaque) in the Lung Cancer Canada Grove located in Toronto.
In the next 18 months,(the same period of time my mother fought courageously with lung cancer with humility, dignity and love) I am going to keep running marathons until I reach the goal. Thank you ,
That is lovely, takeitslowly. Sadly, I can't read the link - site says it isn't activated yet.
The singer Lesley Gore died of lung cancer, although she was also a lifelong non-smoker. I know it is silly to talk about celebrities as if they were more important than the rest of us, but this may help to spotlight the phenomenon. I was more familiar with non-smokers who contracted lung cancer as a result of either industrial pollution, second-hand smoke or both, but this doesn't seem to have been the case there (except in the sense that smoking in front of others was accepted back then).
Note that it is also more common among Asian women: http://www.quora.com/How-did-non-smoker-Lesley-Gore-get-lung-cancer which of course implies that there should be early screening
I know this is a difficult anniversary and a difficult time of year for you, on the eve of the Lunar New Year. I hope your family and friends will come together to share memories of your mother.
takeitslowly, I'll donate a French translation of your mother's page if you wish (as I see that the site is bilingual). Just send me a private message.
love and strength
lagatta
Thank you Unionist for posting the correct link. I have no idea why my link didn't work. Lagatta , thank you in advanced for wanting to make a donation, thats extreamly compassionate of you.
Heres the french version of my page (i hope it works) :https://www.canadahelps.org/fr/pages/the-kit-ling-tang-memorial-fund-to-fight-lung-canc/
I am so thankful and touched by all the lovely messages and donations. It has been hard every single day because my mother is my everything. She is my family. The problem with early screening is that usually, only high risk population (smokers) will be screened for lung cancer.
My mother's family doctor speak Cantonse and is also always very busy and often said theres no appointment avaliable for my mother. I often wonder if she had a better family doctor, or if she didnt have to work so much , she might be able to take time off work and catch the disease sooner.
Its alot of issue rolled into one. My mother was mostly a single mother, working at jobs that are clearly exploitive..think chinese sweatshops. She never had much opportunties to become fluent in english..her family is all in Hong Kong.
I have many many regrets...my brother is so uncaring and didnt help out even though he lived with us. Its hard to forgive and forget. I feel like a failed in so many ways. But thanks for all the support. It really means alot.
At the rate your donations are going, you'll have to increase your target soon!
Unionist
.
Today is again so cold in Toronto, but thanks for making me feel the warmth, everyone. I never imagined I would feel so thankful on the day my mother passed away from one year ago. I am very grateful of the generosity. I don't want to bother you guys too much and I don't want to appear greedy. But from time to time, I will give an update to what happened to my marathon.
It isn't greedy, it is for your mum and other people with lung cancer!
I'm glad we can send you some positive vibes for the New Year (of the Wood Sheep). Hard to be remembering a sad anniversary at such a time.
I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you have any thoughts as to what might have caused the cancer, takeitslowly? Did she live with a smoker? Did her workplaces allow smoke? Or might there have been some other cause or exposure to something in her life?
Hi Jas. I don't mind.
It’s a question I thought about a lot. I couldn’t say any one thing caused the cancer. Maybe it was the sweatshop environment. It could be the recycling plant she worked in or the business /factory type places she went to do cleaning for in the weekend. All of those things could have contributed but she had friends who worked with her in all those places, minus the recycling plant (in which she had to wear a face mask, but the thin type, because otherwise she would be suffocating while working), none of her friends had lung cancer.
The only person who has lung cancer is my mother’s sister, who lives in Hong Kong. She has been living with her husband and her husband smoked but she never smoked.
I blamed myself like I said, she worked so many days a week and we were just barely able to pay back credit card debts. We were always short a few hundred dollars every month; I gave all the income I had to the household, while my older brother never gave a cent, and he lived with us.
I shouldn't use my own depression or other problems to describe what a failure it is that my mother had to work 6 or even 7 days a week working at really really low wage jobs when she had 2 adults children living with her. I feel such shame writing these words.
That is a failure of how the prevailing system exploits immigrants, and women. Do hope things look up for you.
Great news. I am beyond thrill that I raised over 1300 dollar for Lung Cancer Canada. I am running 3 miles everyday and I am increasing my fundraising target to 1800 dollar. I want to thank everyone for their support from the bottom of my heart.
https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/the-kit-ling-tang-memorial-fund-to-fight-lung-canc/ Link to my page
I am also writing to post an article written by a 36 year old doctor who recently died from lung cancer. Its incredibly moving, and he showed alot of great insights on what its like to be dying from lung cancer and I invite everyone to read it. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/16/die-words-daughter-cancer-time-neurosurgeon#comment-49015318
Part of the cruelty of cancer, though, is not only that it limits your time, it also limits your energy, vastly reducing the amount you can squeeze into a day. It is a tired hare who now races. But even if I had the energy, I prefer a more tortoise-like approach. I plod, I ponder, some days I simply persist
Good for you, tis! Cancer is such a scourge - in the past week alone I have lost an Uncle and a colleague at work (much younger than me).
So may there be strength in your efforts and love in your heart!
That's terrible! I am sorry to hear that.
There is an app called chairty miles, which allows a person to raise 25 cents to a chairty of their choice for every mile they run. http://www.charitymiles.org/
It makes me feel a little better that I am doing something and standing up to cancer. I try to run everyday for an organization caleld Stand up to Cancer.
the weather is getting to me..
its the second winter coming without mom. I am not sure i can survive this.
I just noticed this. I'm so sorry you're still in so much pain.
Are you still involved with Stand up to Cancer? I saw that you're working on the Scarborough campaign and it sounds like your efforts for the NDP candidate there are paying off. I know these activities don't do much to replace your sadness but I hope it helps a bit.
well the election is depressing..but now i am back to this ugly reality..of not having my mom ..thanks for your concern laine lowe..i hope my mom approves of me ..i hope i can keep on living the way she would approve of...
actually the city of toronto did plant a tree in my mom's honor its so wonderful i am so happy about it. Its the park at the back of the Ontario Science Centre, its the Lung Cancer Grove. I was able to fundraise 1000 dollar and was so happy the city did that for my mom..i brought my mom's sister to see the tree and her friends also visited the park. i might just leave toronto and canada , because my long distance bf is in texas, and i am afraid to go there but..he has two cats and maybe being with him will make me a bit more happy . i really dont know.
everything about toronto reminds me of my time with my mom..everything..i wiill never be really happy without her..my life is so barren..
Thinking of you and hoping for the best.