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Québec high schooler defies dress code: "Teach boys that girls are not sexual objects"

Unionist
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Unionist
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Social media stirs pot after high schooler defies dress code

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Two VPs walked into the art studio, and asked the Grade 11 students to stand up with their arms by their sides. Anyone whose shorts did not reach their fingertips was deemed to be in violation.

That day, they singled out Lindsey Stocker.

“In front of all my peers and my teacher they said I had to change,” Stocker said. “And when I said no they said I was making a bad choice. They kept shaking their heads. In front of everybody.”

But Stocker says she wasn’t going to be “shamed” for what she was wearing.

She walked out of class, went down the hall and printed up 20 posters which she plastered around the school:

“Don’t humiliate her because she is wearing shorts. It’s hot outside. Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects.”

The posters were taken down within 10 minutes. But they lived on in the virtual world of Facebook and Twitter, an echo chamber for similar incidents around the country. [...]

“All my life I’ve felt I have to hide a lot of things — either because of the way people will see me or what they will do or what kind of message I’m sending, and other girls feel that way, too,” said Stocker, who was ultimately suspended for hanging the posters and leaving school, rather than going to her detention for contravening the dress code.

“It’s like those who ask a girl who was raped what she was wearing. It’s the same idea — that a girl deserves something because of the way she dresses. ... The message (the school) sends is to avoid the whole thing and dress safe — but they don’t call out boys for what they do — they turn a blind eye and that hurts.”


Jacob Two-Two
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Good for her. The lesson she's learned in being so unjustly suspended is more valuable than anything she would have learned in class. Fuck these conformity factories that we pass off as schools. 


Unionist
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Teenage girl starts revolution over short shorts

Quote:

“A lot of people were walking into detention and saying I’m not changing!  And a lot of people are going to bring it to the board,” Kalyna Abboud, a friend of Stocker’s said.

“Most people are agreeing with her, women shouldn’t have to cover themselves up completely because we shouldn’t be viewed as sexual objects,” Sierra Drolet, another friend said.

Suanne Stein Day, the chairman of the Lester B. Pearson School Board, said Stocker was suspended but not just for the shorts incident.  She said she was involved in multiple infractions.

“The rules are there to help the children learn and prepare them for their future work places, high school is a job for them, they are there to learn to function in society, so it’s important that the rules be followed,” Stein Day said.

“Girls and boys have rules on dress codes; it is not a girl, boy thing, that’s not the point."

Yeah, sure, Ms. Stein Day. The "multiple infractions" included putting up a poster, and going home rather than going to detention. And it's good to know schools teach youth how to dress for future jobs. How about the military? Does everyone need a course in boot-polishing and licking?

Stocker seems to have learned quite a bit - that women must be very vigilant not to arouse, stimulate, provoke, and distract males - because males may then do things against their own better judgment.

And she's also learned not to suffer in silence. Very bad preparation for her future job as a housewife.

 

 

 


Aristotleded24
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Joined: May 24 2005

From the article:

Quote:
“Don’t humiliate her because she is wearing shorts. It’s hot outside. Instead of shaming girls for their bodies, teach boys that girls are not sexual objects.”

I agree, and I think the best way for boys to learn that is to be around girls and to get used to seeing a girl's body, not by covering it up. Covering it up has the opposite effect, where attention is drawn to that body part. Look at how men in the Middle East report being aroused at the sight of a woman's ankle or elbow for example.


Aristotleded24
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Again from the article:

Quote:
“The rules are there to help the children learn and prepare them for their future work places, high school is a job for them, they are there to learn to function in society, so it’s important that the rules be followed,” Stein Day said.

“Girls and boys have rules on dress codes; it is not a girl, boy thing, that’s not the point."

Actually no, she's hiding behind the "dress code," not realizing that dress codes more often target what females wear. I remember at one of my jobs I received a package containing a dress code, so wanting to be acceptable, I took a look. I noticed that the vast majority of the code didn't apply to me because I'm a man.


Pogo
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Why don't they have a class on how to be a cog in the machine. Allow people to take it by correspondence.  Then they wouldn't need to invent a rule, to enforce a rule, to teach people to obey rules.


arielc
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The latest ... teenage girls' bra straps showing is too distracting for male teachers. So ... who got sent home ... the leering leches? Of course not:

She said the school told girls who were sent home that it was "because of our bra straps, and that it was inappropriate because some of the male teachers, and male students found it distracting for them." 

http://www.cbc.ca/m/news/#!/content/1.2657903


lagatta
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Joined: Apr 17 2002

Stein Day should not be calling teenagers "children" either. Yes, they are minors until they are 18, but teenagers aren't "children" or adults, they are teenagers.That is contemptuous.

I remember when girls had no right to wear jeans or trousers. Although I've always been partial to skirts (comfy ones, not restricting "pencil skirts") I remember protesting for the right to wear jeans and other trousers. It gets damned cold here in wintertime.


Pondering
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lagatta wrote:

Stein Day should not be calling teenagers "children" either. Yes, they are minors until they are 18, but teenagers aren't "children" or adults, they are teenagers.That is contemptuous.

That always annoys the hell out of me too. They also do it when speaking of sexual interference with minors as thought there is no difference between a ten year old and a seventeen year old. 


Unionist
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Joined: Dec 11 2005

She is awesome - listen to her - sounds just like our eldest daughter a few years ago, when she (successfully) defended her right to facial piercings in high school:

Lindsey Stocker says dress code targets girls

We desperately need to teach compliance to young people like these, before it's tooooo late!

 


jas
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Joined: Jun 6 2005

I'd like to know how the dress code unfairly targets girls though. A rule against "short shorts" (defined by shorts that don't meet your fingertips) doesn't sound particularly onerous to me and, imo, is appropriate in a school setting, outside of gym, for both boys and girls. There are very few workplaces that allow shorts of any length, let alone short shorts, so why should such a rule at school be so offensive? If I saw a public service worker in short shorts at work, I might raise an objection as well.


Jacob Two-Two
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Well, I think you'd be ridiculous to do so, but we can disagree on that without too much trouble. More important is the fact that school isn't a job. Kids are forced to be there. That's bad enough without forcing them to conform to a bunch of arbitrary rules on style and dress. I see short shorts everywhere when the weather is hot, because they are comfortable to wear in hot weather. If they aren't inappropriate on public streets, I can't imagine why they should be in schools. Unless the teachers are a bunch of perverts, that is.


jas
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I agree we can disagree amicably. I think there are lots of good reasons for people to be restricted from displaying too much of their bodies in public places and workplaces. I do agree on equality though, and the rules being applied the same to men and women. Which is why I support women's right to go topless, or the tops-on-in-public rule to be applied to men.

One example of how inappropriate attire can affect others in a way that doesn't assume male privilege, and one that came to my mind immediately would be the case of a guy, for instance, in short shorts working around others, women or men, who, depending on their particular personal histories, could experience it as oppressive or intimidating. Not to mention distracting. So it goes both ways, and I think it's important to acknowledge that. I think it's also important to acknowledge that, as human beings, we will be drawn to or distracted by common erotic visual cues, and that's not something to be condemned for.


jas
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Another example: if you want to abolish the short shorts rule in school, should teachers then be free to wear short shorts? If not, why not?


Jacob Two-Two
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It wouldn't bother me, but the example is fundamentally different. For a teacher, the school is their place of employment, and they represent it as an authority figure. It would make sense that there would be certain restrictions on the way they present themselves that shouldn't extend to the students.


Unionist
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Joined: Dec 11 2005

jas wrote:

I'd like to know how the dress code unfairly targets girls though.

From the OP article, excerpts from the dress code:

No “short shorts.”

No “halter tops/tube tops/bikini tops.”

No “excessive cleavage.”

It doesn't "unfairly" target girls. It just targets girls, period. I listened carefully to Lindsey Stocker, and I believe her. I heard the same from my daughter. Let me paraphrase: "Boys can't leave their hormones at home, so next best thing is you dress modestly."

Stocker says we should teach boys not to view girls as sexual objects. That seems a far more important lesson than teaching young people that they'd better follow rules, now and all their lives, even if they seem irrational, because there are levels of power in society, and you'd better get used to that right now.

 


lagatta
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The short-shorts on men made me think "especially if he scratches his balls". Yes, of course most men don't do this in public (and most people of any gender do that or the equivalent in private). Like spitting. Do men really have so many more respiratory problems than women?

And we don't always have full control of how much cleavage we have...


Pondering
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Joined: Jun 14 2013

I agree that some limits on dress for students is reasonable and these particular restrictions seem reasonable to me.

The problem is that girls are saying that the reasoning they were given was to not distract males and that reason was given in a studen assembly. 

If that is true, then I have a big problem with the message that was sent to both men and women. 


quizzical
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Joined: Dec 8 2011
Unionist wrote:

jas wrote:

I'd like to know how the dress code unfairly targets girls though.

From the OP article, excerpts from the dress code:

No “short shorts.”

No “halter tops/tube tops/bikini tops.”

No “excessive cleavage.”

It doesn't "unfairly" target girls. It just targets girls, period. I listened carefully to Lindsey Stocker, and I believe her. I heard the same from my daughter. Let me paraphrase: "Boys can't leave their hormones at home, so next best thing is you dress modestly."

Stocker says we should teach boys not to view girls as sexual objects. That seems a far more important lesson than teaching young people that they'd better follow rules, now and all their lives, even if they seem irrational, because there are levels of power in society, and you'd better get used to that right now.

 

i agree. the high school here is big on saying high school is to prepare teens for the working world. funny I thought it was so they could get an education. and when you go to university there's no dress code rules, except maybe in the business programs. they aren't saying they're preparing their students for the working world. targeting girls is just more bs.

jas
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Joined: Jun 6 2005

Unionist wrote:
It doesn't "unfairly" target girls. It just targets girls, period. I listened carefully to Lindsey Stocker, and I believe her. I heard the same from my daughter. Let me paraphrase: "Boys can't leave their hormones at home, so next best thing is you dress modestly."

I wonder what they would say to a male student who was wearing short shorts. How do we know they wouldn't give him the exact same reason? Even if it's a dumb reason. "Your clothes are too provocative. It will distract others.. etc."

Unionist wrote:

From the OP article, excerpts from the dress code:

No “short shorts.”

Applies to guys too.

Unionist wrote:
No “halter tops/tube tops/bikini tops.”

Could apply to guys too, esp if you think of '80s fashion. Just sayin'. It may also apply to muscle shirts.

Unionist wrote:
No “excessive cleavage.”

Could apply to guys too. I guess you could say "no necklines more than two inches below collarbone" to be more technical and egalitarian.

As you noted, these are excerpts from the dress code. We don't know that there aren't writtten restrictions that target male attire. There may well be. That's all I'm saying.


Pondering
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jas wrote:
As you noted, these are excerpts from the dress code. We don't know that there aren't writtten restrictions that target male attire. There may well be. That's all I'm saying.

It doesn't matter. The girls were told directly that it was to avoid distracting males. That may have been said as a "joke" at the assembly or maybe one teacher said it but either way that needs to be dealt with. The board disclaimed it but that isn't good enough. Sexism and wardrobe are important topics.

At the high school level students should be able to dissect the reasons for the various rules within the dress code and the function of clothing as group identification socially and professionally. Adults might be surprised at the rules they would come up with if given the opportunity to think about it in depth beyond some shallow should we or shouldn't we have uniforms vote. 


Caissa
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Joined: Jun 14 2006

The policy is clearly sexist. It has an inordinate effect on women's clothing choices. The best way to oppose it is for all females in the school decide to openly defy the policy, day after day after day.


Unionist
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Joined: Dec 11 2005

This is what got Lindsey Stocker suspended - not her shorts, her spirit:


Unionist
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Joined: Dec 11 2005

Very pleased to see Lindsey's act of principled defiance being publicized around the world:

United Kingdom

Australia

Buzzfeed:

Quote:
“There’s a huge rape culture that educational systems aren’t really paying attention to,” Stocker told Global News. “They’re actually contributing to it without realizing it.”

Medical Daily (U.S.):

Quote:
A 15-year-old Canadian girl, who was shamed for wearing denim shorts to her high school, is standing up for her right to wear what she wants, and protesting the sexual objectification of women.

Elle.com:

Quote:
Perhaps the most telling outcome of this latest situation—which mirrors that of the prom and legging-shaming stories—is that Stocker's protest has been met with tons of support from girls her age. Her female peers have been wearing shorts to school out of solidarity, and her story has gone viral over social media. So yes, one of the benefits of this is awareness. But perhaps the most spectacular consequence is the knowledge that young girls are not only aware that this unbalanced treatment and deference for the male gaze isn't right—they're also letting the public know where they stand, and prompting a change in the conversation. As Stocker emphasized with her protest, the fact that we consider girls to be the problem is the problem. And it's certainly a more valuable lesson than merely preaching conservative dressing, in our opinion.

Very very good.

 


jas
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Joined: Jun 6 2005

I admire her spirit too, but I think it's misapplied. Imo, this is not the issue on which to be trying to educate the mainstream about rape culture. One, because I think the issue doesn't adequately demonstrate it. Two, I worry it will serve to trivialize it.


Mr.Tea
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Joined: Jul 9 2011

I'd implement uniforms (or at least dress codes in all schools). You're there to learn. It's not a fashion show. Whether it's kids showing too much skin, dressing inappropriately or simply kids who feel left out if they can't afford the latest cool fashions, uniforms or strict dress codes would eliminate a lot of problems.


Jacob Two-Two
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Yeah, especially that pesky problem of personal choice. It'll nip that right in the bud.

Sure you go to school to learn, but to learn what? To be a responsible creative individual or an obedient conformist drone? Issues like these draw a clear line between these two philosophies of teaching.

Wouldn't your logic work equally well in the workplace? Why shouldn't you be forced to wear a uniform to your job for the same reasons?


Unionist
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Mr.Tea wrote:
I'd implement uniforms (or at least dress codes in all schools). You're there to learn. It's not a fashion show. Whether it's kids showing too much skin, dressing inappropriately or simply kids who feel left out if they can't afford the latest cool fashions, uniforms or strict dress codes would eliminate a lot of problems.

Interesting how the above post carefully uses the word "kids", but really, it only makes sense if you substitute "girls". Just try substituting "boys", and you get nonsense.

Lindsey Stocker is a lot wiser than some of us. She's got it. This coming generation will shake this world up!

 


Caissa
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Joined: Jun 14 2006

I'm not sure I like the term "kids" to refer to both sexes let alone one. There is far too much conformity in our school system. I often wish students had a bit more of the spirit of the sixties and less of the fifties.


Mr.Tea
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Jacob Two-Two wrote:

Wouldn't your logic work equally well in the workplace? Why shouldn't you be forced to wear a uniform to your job for the same reasons?

Plenty of jobs do require a uniform and plenty of others at least have a dress code. I'm sure if most people showed up at work in ripped jeans, sandals and dirty tank top, they wouldn't get away with it.

The best teacher I ever had was my high school history teacher, Mr. Miller. Really changed my life and I probably wouldn't be where I am today without his influence. I remember he ALWAYS wore a jacket and tie to teach. His rationale always impressed me. He said that he beleived that there was no higher calling than to be an educator and he should treat his job with the respect and dignity it entailed. After all, if he were a lawyer or worked at a bank, he'd be expected to wear a jacket and tie, so why shouldn't he when he's doing work he considers even more important? I think the same goes to students. Education is serious and important and you indicate that by how you dress and generally comport yourself when you're there. I have a friend who went to a school where all the students called teachers by their first names, which I really didn't like either.


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